Dear Cupid...

Many of you know that I have not written a blog post in over a year. I was quite busy journeying through some of the most profound and in-depth personal healing (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) to date. It has been a journey which I find words are completely inadequate for describing so I will spare us all the pain of an attempt. Suffice to say that I have come through it a much more whole and expanded being with a readiness and commitment to being here and sharing my unique expression with the world. And so it begins…

I recently saw a post in my Instagram feed about a young woman who was toying with the idea of cutting energy cords between herself and what I assumed was an ex-boyfriend. I’ve been there, sister! This certainly wasn’t the first time I’ve seen this sort of thing, nor will it be last. However, instead of seeing those sorts of posts and thinking about how I wish that the masses were better informed, I realized I hadn’t done much to help inform more people. So, I was inspired to to do just that.

When folks talk about “cutting cords” they are usually talking about cutting energy cords. Energy cords, at a basic level, are the unseen (by most people at this time) energy streamers that connect us with others. Often times we perceive that there are harmful or unhealthy energy dynamics between ourselves and the other people, which is normally why we wish to cut these cords. Along with the idea that there are harmful, unhealthy or painful dynamics, many also believe that when cords remain connected between ourselves and another (especially with familial and romantic relationships) that this means there is not space for the possibility of another relationship to come into one's life. Simply put, some believe that an uncut cord is a block to creating new cords. 

These ideas are both true and completely untrue at the same time. Let me explain. We each have thousands upon millions of energy cords between ourselves and others, as well as the planet and the things around us. We are intimately connected with all things because all things are connected. At a small scale I have, many times, perceived energy cords between individuals. I have perceived beautiful, healthy-looking cords and damaged, worn-out, unhealthy-looking cords. I have seen tatters and tears, and complete breaks. But I have never seen two things in the universe be fully disconnected. In fact, sometimes those beings have cut cords from one another and the energy between them still connects via their energy cords to other shared beings. When cut, the energy exchange will often just take the long way around, traveling through other people and even parallel dimensions to return and/or connect back to one another. It almost acts more as a road block than a cure or a healing action to cut cords. I have seen more damage and postponement than healing when cords are cut.

Certainly it feels better, at first, to no longer feel painful energy dynamics between yourself and another, but in the longterm it seems only to prolong the actual completion of the healing and acceptance process. There are some schools of thought in the healing community that state that there are things that are “off” or “out of balance”. These ideas seem to subconsciously train the mind to believe that what “is” and what is “now” is not right, good or healthy for the being. This type of indoctrination contradicts the ideals of “trusting” and being fully empowered in each moment. Rather, fully empowered responsibility owns that each moment is perfect, even if one cannot perceive how it is so. If one knew how the current dynamics were perfect, they would have already been assimilated back into wholeness through full acceptance. Disconnection, rejection and avoidance energies separate oneself from the experience of wholeness and oneness with all things.  In cutting cords one is merely disconnecting, rejecting, avoiding and/or postponing their own wholeness.

When your personal vibrational shifts, certain energy frequencies (such as those carried and held by others) cannot connect into your energy field because there are no shared frequencies upon which to connect the energy cords and create magnetism (like attracts like). It is similar to an incompatible electric plug in a foreign country. There simply are no compatible connection points. I have seen cords become energetically inactive between beings when one or both of them have chosen to shift their frequencies so that they no longer have enough shared frequencies to keep their energy fields connected. I have also observed two souls who were so adamantly unwilling to see themselves in one another that they cut all energy cords between them in one dimension, only to return as siamese twins in another. Siamese twins have shared cords through the shared body, and this, to me, is a fascinating, creative and brilliant way of creating a dynamic where the two souls cannot avoid “working through” whatever the connection is that brought them to one another in the first place.

If you are someone who is seeking an experience of acceptance and wholeness of self, I highly recommend that you spend time learning the most you can about the energy anatomy of your field and your energy cords before deciding to cut any of them. After nearly 40 years of observing energy and over 16 years of working daily in the energy field realm, I have seen no evidence that shows me that one can escape from being connected to another. Rather all evidence points to us being deeply connected, even while maintaining the individuation of the human body. 

At the end of the day, I do not believe there is a right or wrong way of doing anything. For me life is one enormous frequency playground! You have the ability to chose from an infinite number of options. Whether you cut cords or shift your frequency, you cannot do it wrong. The point is rather to inform oneself to the fullest so that you are more aware of your creative options. Most of the time, my personal intention leads me to choose to keep my cords intact with others and shift my state of mind and perception so that I may begin shifting into another experience, but my inner artist leaves some space for choosing to cut a cord or reject connection. After all, it is my free will and divine right to shift toward and/or away from a deeper experience of wholeness. What will you choose today, this week or this decade? There is no wrong choice. There is desire, which acts as a compass…and there is intention, which is your arrow. All you need do is choose the direction and aim. I simply invite you to be more expansively aware of your options before you release the bow string. 

Relational cords will be discussed in depth as a part of the SMH Self Mastery program, which will begin it's open enrollment this November online. For more information and updates please follow SMH on Instagram @schoolforhealing , click the Twitter icon at the bottom right corner of this page or visit our facebook page at , or write to us at